A Letter to My Old Self

Dear Old Self,

It’s been quite some time since we’ve really talked. I left you nine years ago for something—someone—far greater. Though life isn’t necessarily easier, it is now far more fulfilling, more joyous, and more purposeful. There are triumphs even through the fiercest trials.

And, boy, do you enjoy those trials. Sometimes you come back and take over when life gets tough. I let my guard down and believe things are better yielding to you. That’s when I complicate things and forget that I’m not the same person I once was—I’m not you anymore.

I know that’ll never be okay with you. You keep coming back everyday, without fail, but you must know: I am not coming back. There will be more times I am tempted to side with you, to behave as I once did. But I am no longer compelled to do so. I have someone far more compelling than you. I have the one who made me new—the one who killed you. The same one that helps me put you to death every day.

You won’t officially die until my physical body dies, unfortunately. Personally, I wish you’d drop dead on the spot and I wouldn’t have to worry about you. Alas, that’s not what the Lord has in store. He decided to keep us (all His children) on earth before His Son comes back so we can play a part in gathering in the rest of His fold.

So remember this: I don’t serve you anymore. You can keep clawing your way back—and sometimes you’ll succeed—but you are, in very real sense, already dead. You’re certainly dead to me. You have no power over me anymore. I serve Christ, not you. The satisfaction you bring me pales in comparison to the satisfaction I receive as a new creation following Jesus.

So, Old Self, you’re days are numbered. I am a new person, with new affections and new interests. The things you desire—lust, vulgarity, and the like—are no longer what controls me. I am controlled by the Spirit who lives inside me.

You can keep on knocking—and sometimes I may unfortunately answer—but the door will eventually get shut in your face. I can’t wait for that day. It can’t come sooner. I’ll be honest to say fighting you gets tiring sometimes; but when I am weak, Jesus is strong. I don’t fight you on my own. If I fought in my own, I’d lose miserably.

Old Self, I don’t love you anymore. You may look appealing on occasion, regretfully so, but my ultimate allegiance is to Christ—the one who made me new.

So long, Old Self, you are not missed.

Yours (not so) truly,

New Self

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