“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 ESV
In June, my wife (Shale) and I found out that we were pregnant. We were overjoyed!
About two months later, we found out there wasn’t ever a baby. Not only were we very upset, but deeply confused.
Shale had what is medically called a “blighted ovum.” In other words, this essentially means everything normal happened in the pregnancy except an embryo never developed—there was never a baby. Apparently, this is a common occurrence in pregnancy. We were told this happens to one and five women, and that it rarely, if ever, happens more than once.
I remember working at Chick-Fil-A the day that Shale had the appointment. I couldn’t be with her because I had already taken off a lot. I knew that she would call with the results, whether good or bad. When she called, I dropped what I was doing (I told my coworkers I needed to take the call), and went outside. She told me what it was.
Confusion and sadness set in.
I was trying to process what had actually happened. I had never heard of anything like this. Somebody can be technically pregnant yet not conceive a child? The thought never entered my mind. I had fully prepared myself to hear, “You’ve lost the baby.” But instead I heard, “You never had a baby.” What?
I was upset, of course, because I wanted (and still want) to be a dad. I was (and am) ready. I thought we were two months along. I was thinking everything was fine. I remember the times I would talk to Shale’s stomach to talk to the baby; except, there was no baby. That hurt.
Yet, We Trusted in our God
It would have been very easy (though still sinful) to doubt the goodness of God in this situation. It’s easy to take our eyes off Him, and think that He’s not good, that He doesn’t care.
But we never did. We held onto Him (and He gripped us tight!).
Thought we understand medically why this can and does happen, we don’t know why God planned for this to happen. But we do know God’s character. We do know God’s nature. We do know that “…for those who love God all things work together for good…” (Rom. 8:28). Even the hard things. We believe that! We cherish that truth!
We don’t have to know why He planned this to happen. All we know is that God planned it for our good and His glory. Believing that precious truth doesn’t eliminate the pain but it does eliminate the doubt (in His goodness). His sovereignty is our foundation.
We will count this trial all joy (Js. 1:2). Why? Because this trial—like the trials I’m sure we will have in the future—gives us a steadfast faith. This trial is meant as another step in the direction of becoming more like Jesus! There is a reason for everything, because God is sovereign and He is in control.
So, though we are still upset, we still trust in our God. We trust that He has the best for us and His glory. He has made that known to us (and all other Christians) in His Word.
We have received an endless amount of support from our family, friends, and church. It means the world to us. Most importantly, we have received amazing grace from our God, who loves and cares for us.
“Count it all joy, brothers … All things work together.”
I will leave you with thisgem by Charles Spurgeon:
“There is no attribute of God more comforting to His children than the doctrine of Divine Sovereignty. Under the most adverse circumstances, in the most severe troubles, they believe that Sovereignty hath ordained their afflictions, that Sovereignty overrules them, and that Sovereignty will sanctify them all.”
Soli Deo Gloria