As I’ve written before, God saved me as a ripe freshman in college. I believe it was Christmas break of my freshman year. I had entered a whole new world, a whole new me. I was, as Scripture declares, a new creation in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17).
As the new me came, so came new ideas, new feelings, new desires, new interests. About two months after my conversion, I noticed one of the college dorm lobbies was showing a debate on the existence of God between Ken Ham and Bill Nye “The Science Guy.”
I was a bit taken aback. Or, I was a bit naive. I didn’t think this was really an issue. But apparently it was; and the fact that it was a debate flooded my faith with doubts. And my doubts were never about the goodness, justice, and faithfulness of God. No; my doubts were about the existence of God.
Do I really believe God exists? Is it truly rational to believe in God? How can we know that God exists? Is evolution true?
I wouldn’t say my doubts were severe; but I had them from time to time. And it was awful. Those doubts, however, led me to dig in deeply to apologetics. The further I dug, the more gold I found. Though having doubts were bad, they led to a stronger, more secure faith.
That brings up a question, doesn’t it? It is okay to have doubts? They are certainly normal for the Christian life, right? Whether it’s doubting the existence of God or doubting His goodness, it’s unfortunately a normal thing to do. But, Christian, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s somehow virtuous or neutral. No; doubting the Lord in any way, shape, or form is sinful. It’s sinful because, at its root, we’re not trusting God.
Yes, having doubts can, and should, lead to theological discovery and a rejuvenated faith. That’s the hope! But we need to ensure what we do with our doubts leads us to trust Jesus more, not less. It’s never good to doubt, but even something bad can lead to something good.
That doesn’t mean we should despair or self-loathe any time we doubt. It simply means we should repent of our doubts—we should doubt our doubts.
The late Timothy Keller said it this way:
Doubt your doubts. Be skeptical of your own skepticism. Why? Because you realize that you are not completely objective.
There are things coming our way from every angle that will sow seeds of doubt into our minds. Ignore them. Doubt them. Be skeptical of them. At the same time that I watched the debate, I was also taking biology; I was deep in the trenches of learning evolutionary theory. My faith was being absolutely rocked by the waves of propaganda that was contrary to the Word of God.
But the more I questioned things, the deeper my trust went, by the grace of God. As I had more questions, learning about defending the faith gave more answers. I learned about the major arguments for the existence of God, like the teleological, cosmological, and transcendental arguments. I learned about facts of the empty tomb and resurrection that were too much to push away. I learned different reasons why subjective morality and truth are simply untenable positions, and that the only way to have objective morality and truth is with God, as all morals and truth find their source in Him.
Again: doubts are not a good thing, but they can lead to wonderful discoveries about the Christian faith that bring you closer to the Lord.
So, Christian, doubt your doubts. Don’t allow your doubts to drive you further into skepticism; rather, let your doubts push you to the unshakeable and immutable truths of Christianity.
Let me leave you with this. The Christian rapper KB has a beautiful song called “Doubts” that was an incredible help for me in this time. May it be so for you, too.
But then the Spirit comforts me he comforts me
I ain’t gotta worry about this no longer
When I feel my grip about to slip
His grip on me gets stronger
When I can barely crack a smile
Feeling like Mona Li’
God says know your weak so when your strong you know its me
See, He’s been saving since Abram and he ain’t lost one yet
Jesus has set me free never seen a better sunset
That’s why I doubt my doubts
That’s why I doubt my doubts
They just push me closer to the one who’s got it figured out
Blake Long 
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